Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
