At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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