Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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