I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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