My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
