I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
