what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish life had little blips of pornography
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
