Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
