even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
pop tarts are not kleenex
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
