I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
