Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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