Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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