You're completely useless in the revolution.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
