AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
