I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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