somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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