I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
