A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
