Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
