I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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