Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
