Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so let's talk penis.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
