I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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