DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
