real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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