I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
