Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
