my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
