I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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