I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
