After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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