names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
