We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
