is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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