doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
