Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
