Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This girl is more easily done than said...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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