i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
