Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
