They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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