hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
