hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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