I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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