i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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