ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
