It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
