At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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