Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
