I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
