I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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