Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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