Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This is the high leading the old right now
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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