it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
