she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
