Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
